4:58 PM

i don want to fight! u know i dn. we could figure this thing out and live happily like we used to. yes yes. wateva. im like the most evil cruel selfish witch. or even biatch on earth. but, get this straight. i dn think i hv any other frens other than u. and now, ure like jauhkan diri.

i dn wan to talk bout frens and all. some bubble me and all. some frens huh?

ive always tot of u and me. bffs. like forever and ever and ever and ever. like fairy tales. we'd still hang out even after graduation. after we had kids. blah blah blah.

im asking too much, aint i?

u asyik ckp psl tat girl, this girl, tat bf. but like soooo jarang bout me. are u ashame of smtg?

wateve k? i dn wana fight then cry over such a _____ matter.

night.

p.s.t. u expect me to open up. but u sendiri tk ckp pape. u only call me when u need smtg. but not to chat nemore. nvm. im adapting anyway. hope i didn make u cry. sorry.

lets have an open session and let me say everything that i have been bottling up. let me have a fraking say and yes, you can say whatever you want.

maybe im the one at fault and maybe im the one who is fading away. maybe im using the tone on you andmaybe i dont know how to give and take. i dont know how to bagikan my time.

first and foremostly, i dont know why you dont like me being too close to tawn or lino or hannah and i have a feeling you dont like me being too close to hafiz too. and lets see, i never, (repeating, never ever) restrict who you got to be friends with. you get along well with hannah and wani and the next door boys and syafiq and tapha and mais and all the others but i never freaking restrict you. i dont go, 'i dont like you being too close with _____' and you know what? im hurt whenever you say that you dont like me being too close with some people. i thought its my life and i keep asking myself did i thought wrong? do i have to abandon some others so you could enjoy yuor life? yes, im letting all out. this is harsh but you got to remember that the truth hurts and that is what life is all about.

i asked you why you did not invited me to go with you to that 'tea party' and you answer shocked me. i went, 'oh my god' and i was speechless. i could not believe it. why selasih?

i may be over-emo but i think you're over-sensitive. sometimes, i get the feeling you want things to go with your flow. heck, who doesnt, yeah? but sometimes, you got to admit that the world doesnt revolves around you and you got to live with it. sama ada awak nak ke tak nak.

you know, you have that standard where you expect everybody to achieve and i, sometimes am struggling to achieve that standard.

i dont know when this started. maybe i got too close with lino and tawn. thats why. but you were always with maiss at that point of time. or is it because of hafiz? because i kinda noticed that since hafiz, you have deliberately changed. drastically. (hafiz, i expect you not to spout nonsense that this is all your fault and what shits) maybe i got too over-friendly. maybe we kinda lost it somewhere. i dont know.

jyeah, im a confused kid.

dear, i dont jauhkan diri. i told you its getting awkward around you. and further more, half the time, i dont know who you're talking about. its like, everything in your life is different now. and its hard to catch up when i wanted to talk to you, you're with somebody else. i would so much like to sit down and talk but it seems like you dont need me anymore. stop telling me that im the only friend. the others might kecil hati.

if i could rewind time and go back to the past, i would and keep our friendship. remember you told me that we wont let a guy hurt this friendship but it looks like we are. letting guy hurt this friendship. kenape kite mcm ade feeling awak tak suke hafiz? and i sooooo jarang talk about you because i dont know what to talk about. and its not like you talk about me. see? and i freaking hell am not ashamed of you. why would i be?! and hell, i remembered telling you about me going to syria. and you told me that i should come back here every year. you know, i planned to. come back evey year if im going. just so we could see each other.

If they hurt you
They hurt me too (but what if we're hurting each other?)
So we'll rise up
Won't stop (no we wont)
And it's all about
It's all about

It's all about us (all about us)
It's all about
All about us (all about us)
There's a theme that they can't touch
'Cause ya know (ah ah)
It's all about us (all about us)
It's all about
All about us
all about us
We'll run away if we must
'Cause ya know
It's all about us (It's all about us)
It's all about love (It's all about us)
In you I can trust (It's all about us)
It's all about us

and bullshit, you're adapting when im ______. this is getting stupider. we ned to sit down over coffee and talk. seriously. asap. and 'whatever k? i dont want to fight and cry over such a ______ matter' what does it mean?

oh, i hope you didnt cry too. (its not that easy to say, okay?)

with love, nabilahmoen.

( im missing the times when we sat at one corner,
gossiping about boys
telling each other the dream guy
stalkin people, remember ammur?
im missing those moments when,
we call each other to just cry on the phone
we slept on each others lap in class
we shared a plate of rice during recess
im truly missing,
windowshopping at topshop
complaining about the weather
telling each other if this fits you or me
im crying because i miss,
your hugs
your laugh
your mak nenek-ish care XD
well, dear,
i miss you )

salam!!

we're (not) going down, down;NABILAHMOEN!