5:27 PM

bismillahirrahmanirrahim

salaaaaaaaam!

OKAY, I AM SO PISSED OFF BECAUSE I CANT HOLD ON ANYMORE. I CANT FIND MY COMPOSURE. I DONT KNOW WHAT IS HAPPENING TO MYSELF. I THINK I AM A FREAKING HYPOCRITE. I HATE THINGS RIGHT NOW. AAAAAAAAARGH!!

so, there. i hate it that it have to be blogged to get it off my chest. i know that there are other people who got worser things in the world out there. but, sometimes, i just dont know what the hell is wrong with me lah. grrrr. i so need you to be here. oh, come on. like serously, i thought that by now i would have some sort of a routine in school by now but no. i didnt. i feel so out of place. as much as i like imperfection, i feel that this is not the time. i am having a hard time at home and at school. home is all hafiz this and hafiz that. i mean, thank you that you all are giving me that 'hafiz attention' but seriously, IT IS EFFING ANNOYING AND IRRITATING. even my fellow peers dont give me that kind attention. the place would be a better place if you guys shut your gaps. and school is makin me go mad because i think im on the verge of getting a really bad fever plus cold because my sinus is acting up. I JUST WISH THAT MADAM SU WOULD CHNGE THE WHOLE CLASS' SITTING ARRANGEMENT.

i know, i sound so like a brat. astaghfirullahal azim.

i am thankful to be given a chance to live in our gracious land, dear God. im just too timid to face the world at the moment. im beig pressurized by everybody and im having stressful fits. la yukallifullu nafsan illa wus'aha. hazhal ayat, sa azhkuru ila akhir hayati.

the miracle of friendship is a far greater one. my friends believed in me, helped me and gave me courage to push on when i feared failures. as much as i love my lobely ladies, i think im losing touch. i think we're no longer par. i think.. im just not worth it for you guys. i am so sorry. i am so going to miss you guys. i love you.

salam!