11:09 PM

another one again.

salam.

i think im going to start being a minimalist. penat lah berbual dengan tembok. and then, i can post like A LOT! but hell, dude, who cares if i blog more than one a day or if my blog is simply nonsensical. but this post here is going to be a straightforward shit. because i cant take it anymore.

you know, i have a lot of friends. (this is seriously not going to be a minimalist kind of post afterall. blah nabilah. you're such a psyiwsbchyeia!) i love them. really. thats why they're my heart and soul. deep deep down, i hope the feeling's mutual. and that is why, when a friend did something stupid, i go like, why the hell did that happen?! what happened to friends being there helping each other, taking care of each other? i wasnt there? and then things just somehow got from bad to worse. i am confused. i am sorry that things happen to you. i mean, with all those shits and crapolas and stuff but man, WHY?! i am super duper maha sad. the reasons you gave were just stupid. i am sorry. they're fucking stupid. friends wanted to help. close friends didnt even agree with what you're doing and all but you're not helping yourself. get back up on your feet, dudette! things like this arent for laughs. things like this arent for fun. they determine where you will stand five years from now. maybe even next year! did you plan properly? dont you realise that if you didnt do all those stuff, things like this, all these shits and crapolas and stuff, wont fall unto you?! man, im damn angry.

and i have another friend who is super damn lucky but cant even see it. good life, focused in her studies but she is being unappreciative. friends would stand by you but when you hurt an ego, when you broke a person's heart, its sad. i dont know why im so damn vexed over their relationsip. maybe because i expected too much. maybe because they promised so much things. i cant believe that their relationship was a short one. i heard different sides of the story. and i dont know who to believe. the guy sounded so pitiful. and the girl is enjoying her life. what happened to love forever and ever. you know, sometimes, its these kind of people who is polluting the mind of other people. its their kind who is putting wrong ideas inside the heads of youngsters nowadays. though this is being biased because, as teenagers themselves, they are also confused. the future generation is going to suffer. having said that, i have a love life myself. and know what? (when cikgu zul reads this, he is going to laugh his head off) but im going to fight for my love if thigs ever going to be wrong somewhere. i know its corny and myshy, but whatever. (: im just dissapointed by you.

i would love to call you my hubby but people is reading and watching. its really rather childish. i still can think with my head but for now, you're my hubby. (: i dont care what people have to say. i can be as mushy as those people in malay novels and i can be as stoney as those takde perasaan people. the phrase, 'its my blog, my say' is getting to my head. and if you have a problem with me telling the whole world that i love hafiz and im being super emotional and mushy, its okay. you have your right, too. i know about all that i-have-my-right thang.

and euu knw writing lyk ths? i styl dun get it. i lost touch alrdy lah. my dear juniors, and seniors, i have an issue. STOP WRITING LIKE THAT CAN OR NOT? it just shows how stupid unintelligent you are. its okay for speling or grammar mistakes. but who spells 'you' like this, -> 'euu'? and how the hell do you pronounce that? and when you have outsiders asking whether you can speak english or not, you know how to get angry and blame the whole world at not being infomative (is this the right word?!) about madrasah's well-being. they read your blog and see all these spellings. and can you just minimise the swearing. berbual fanatic sey. sikit-sikit nak maki. ape fikir cool maki-maki?! man, i dont understand this. you guys are blessed with Islam, and you have three beautiful languages that you know and can use at your advantage, and the best you can do is to swear?! aaah, kids nowadays. i am ging to be a good mother and choose my word whe speaking with my children several years after this.

i think i need to shut the hell up. im just being angsty. blame it on the hormones. tak suke, boleh berbual, okay? tak baik berbual belakang. siapa makan cili, dia terase pedasnya, okay?

(FTW)

salam!