11:09 AM

i didnt go to school. period.

salam brothers and sisters.

because i woke up and was drenched in my own sweat. my head was heavy. heavier when it felt like the whole world was on my shoulder. now, i cant wait to go KL. my mama must be so proud. (it ust be because if the release of marks. damn, scaredy cat)

plus, i have a few new things to buy in KL.

i was dutifully browsing through my girlfriends' blogs and cme across one which made me want to blog today. i would happily make a vlog (i have always wanted to do that what with my head talking faster than my fingers)(i was never a good typist) but my lappy doesnt have a webcamie. oh well.

wait. before anything, SAPE NAK TGK DIVE!! AND OGLE AT TH BOY, PLEASE TELL ME. WE'LL WATCH TOGETHER,OKAY?

im going to be spending a lot of my time with my friends this june. (plus mega huge studying) do you think your mom will allow it if we go johore to visit madam b? then we can bowl like krazee since the rates there are awesomely awesome. (:

oh, about that friend. (: i love you, okay?

i feel like spouting nonsense and tembak everybody. however, because im so nice liddat i wont do it. BUT i wont feel satisfied. its like, there is no point to publishing this post. thats why ive been 'abandoning' my blog and not faithfully updating like always. i keep typing and deleting and not doing anything to the page. i know i have that heck care attitude and im about to carry one again these few days sebab dah tak kuase lagi nak layan dunie. i am so tired of trying to think the consequences if i do this or that when obviously the people around me are not affected with it. (or, they also malas nak layan)

i have this habit. i would do things that were given to me seriously and would just take in any shit. i dont care if people is doing things like me or not (plus, i like to stand out) but as long as i gave my best shot or as long as i did my bestest and cant do about it anymore, i am satisfied and i dont care if people around me thinks what i just did is stupid. but its funny how it is when i had given my best shot and when people around me who is dear to me arent satisfied wiht my effort. i would tell them its okay, i'll try harder but that was the hardest i tried and if i were to try harder, i would break. and let me tell you, my heart is held by thousand of plaster. each piece is beyond repair.

right now, i want to drop everything and start taking care of myself. because the person who is supposed to do that is not doing a good job.

i have moods. like every other person i have moods. sometimes,mine last a bit longer, seem a bit deeper. but that's because i feel things with a depth most people dont allow themselves to experience. - goodnight beautiful, pg 182

and that is why i cry so easily. laugh so easily and worry too much.

i think i m going to volunteer with children society or KK. i will, maybe.

salam brothers and sisters. have a nice day.

in spring;
if you're the river
then i shall be the trickling stream
to journey down to you
and when i meet you
i shall rejoice with all my heart
for i love you...

in summer;
if you're the humming bee
then i shall be the blooming flowers
if you're the flowers
then i shall be the happy butterflies
for i was made for you
and nobody else...

in autumn;
when the world turns golden
and the leaves gently fall to the ground
and people watch the mandarin ducks
swim gracefully in the lake
i shall be with you
and we shall be together forever...

in winter;
when the snow falls
i will be the snow flakes
and you the warm ground
receiving me from the sky
and the 'white' would be my heart
filled with the purest love for you...
-fizster's literature (zombiefizz.deviantart.com)