5:40 PM

i am bloging now everyday now, arent i? haah.

salam brothers and sisters.

hafiz, i changed my skin. okay, sayang? i like my new skin.

(last night was scary. i cant take my mind of things and i cried. tears just kept streaming and a lot of what if(s) came running around frantically in my puny little brain. (what is wrong with me and being frantic?!) it dissipates paranoia and i was having a difficult time. at that point of time, i wish bears can grow big and hug you back. tigger isnt soft enough and no bears are as soft and huggable as papa bear. i feel safest in your arms. raindrop is lucky)

tomorrow is maths. things have better be good because i have a retest tomorrow. dang. but somebody is going to treat me lunch tomorrow. i cant wait. do you think if we dwell in the past too much, we wont go forward? saturday is going to come and i cant wait for it. have i told you that i bought a vest-like apparel from cotton on. fell i love with it. hafiz also said its nice. and i was going crazy there. ade baju lengan panjang!! hish.

i was watching barney today on okto. now i remembered who use to say that 'friends are there to help each other when one is feeling sad'. and that big purple dinosaur is the gayest (gay has two meanings you duffos). i cant believe i sing along to the theme song and some of the songs. that big dinosaur is still my hero afterall. he was there to fight those closet monsters since small when my brother is still so small and not string yet. barney even fought off scary big-eye teletubbies! sumpah, i love you! <3

i am thinking. wouldnt it be nice if you can cry your heart out and there is actually someone there to hug you and tell you everything is going to be fine at the end of the day. even though you and i know that its not. wouldnt it be nice? i experienced that situation before. a couple of times to be exact. (say im emo and i going to shoot you to death. aku ade perasaan, okay) and i swear it was the nicest thing somebody could have done. i swear i felt safe. all those monsters seemed to run away that instant because i have somebody by my side to fight those monsters. thank you, love.

i want red balloons and white daisies. would you be like Pandora's dad and have all evil locked in a box for me? thank you.







things are going to be bad for me, aye? i keep things to myself too much right now, i regret it. if only you knew, dear.. if only.. i am eating my heart out of my own's will. call me crazy, i am already the epitome of craziness.

salam!